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april 10th 2017

here. i am starting new. i feel like i have said that so many times. and i have. i really have.... sigh. how is this time different from the rest? i have always been strong, carefree, spontaneous, adventuresome, life-is-too-short-kinda-way girl. but something in the last year has turned my insides into a different place. i ignore my body, i ignore my inner self CRYING out. stop. stop. please just stop. i have put everyone else in front of myself. i have decided to take care of everyone and everything before i get in some time for me. to take care of my body. my mind. my faith. my heart. even as i type this, i am thinking of dinner i need to make tonight and the laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, oh and the dog needs to be walked. yes, and i can pay those bills later too........ where is my health, wellbeing SELF fit into this? my face shows the beat down i have been giving my internal organs. food after food after lack of good exercise, good movement. i am planting a garden out back - h
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winter is coming

"Girls love each other like animals. There is something ferocious and unself-conscious about it. We don't guard ourselves like we do with boys. No one trains us to shiel our heads from each other. With girls, it's total vulnerability from the beginning. Our skin bare and soft. We love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. It's feral. And it's relentless."  -Leah Raeder,  Black Iris  (via  quoted-books )

a note.

This is for the gentle goddesses with watery, empathic hearts, who ooze with oodles of compassion,  eager to soothe another’s suffering . This is for the luscious ladies with restless spirits who can’t stay in one place for long, because our souls are winged, always longing for adventure. Yes, this is just for us: The free-spirited females with fiercely   sensitive hearts . We are a balmy breeze, casually caressing arms lovingly, suddenly here, suddenly there, then suddenly gone. We are a thousand grains of precious pink sand, slowly slipping through soft fingertips, one by one. We   can never be contained   because we aren’t meant to be. We are born to ride the wild winds of passion, surf the turbulent oceans of despair, and relentlessly explore the great vastness of this crazy world — until our bodies collapse in ecstatic exhaustion. We understand deeply that life is a heartbreakingly  beautiful series of goodbyes, hellos, triumphs and disappointments and we feel mos

river wild.

This photo is the background of my computer at work. It reminds me to focus on not getting caught up in the craziness of the week. That this in-grained desire for something bigger is normal. That we were not made for this world, but while we are here we must not miss the good parts.  River Wild.  There is a peace in the woods, in the dark of the trees. In the rain and under the branches. I hear whispers of wind and cheers of wildlife. I hear Hillsong music and the light rain covering the deep. The streams a-flowin and the rush of the wide-open scapes. OPEN HEAVEN - RIVER WILD.  This world today has been so rearranged by MAN that we sometimes can't recognize it for what is was in the pure state of which it was created.  So I am reminded, reminded to take care. To leave no damaging mark but to kiss the earth gently - To pray, listen and speak less.  “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explan

going on.

entering into my 27th year.... no kids (yet), new job, new start, fitness getting in check, health a top priority, BODY LOVE is going to happen, living the moments.... living each day with not regretting anything. loving, laughing, breathing, keeping it real. messing up, asking for forgiveness and reaching for grace. keeping friends close and letting those go who are walking away. dancing in the strangest moments, remembering to keep it simple.

heart of life

one photo from the Portland adventure weekend. Self discovery, letting go, finding creativity again and learning about life. With the best of people. A weekend of wonder - simple, yet just what I needed. Full. 

truth!

truth