Skip to main content

wild days, I will find you



there are times when I think I am still SO young... I'll get this want deep within me to paint my nails black, ditch work and just drive. I get this want to just let it all go, have no responsibilities, and just run. Make mistakes, fall in love again and again, photograph anything and everything, dance on table tops, drink to much, stay up late to watch the stars and just live.

I'll be driving home from work, thinking... lets just go! I have a full tank of gas, I can get new clothes, bills are paid for the month.. lets just go wild for a week. Hike and move, laugh and cry and be happy.

but I always bounce back, look at the clock and say "oh man... its 8:30PM... I should start getting ready for bed." HOW BORING.

I tattooed myself a few months ago - wanting something to remind me of how far I have come and how much God has been my influence in my life. I also got it to just FEEL something. Anything. In the moment of getting the tattoo, I felt young, alive and FREE. One moment, simple and steady. I felt here.

I am trying to rediscover life as a mid twenty something working full time and paying a mortgage. How does one find the time to explore, adventure and be young and alive??

I am still trying to find that out, one moment at a time. One step at a time.

I will find it - deep within my soul there is a young and restless girl who is fighting to be heard.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

april 10th 2017

here. i am starting new. i feel like i have said that so many times. and i have. i really have.... sigh. how is this time different from the rest? i have always been strong, carefree, spontaneous, adventuresome, life-is-too-short-kinda-way girl. but something in the last year has turned my insides into a different place. i ignore my body, i ignore my inner self CRYING out. stop. stop. please just stop. i have put everyone else in front of myself. i have decided to take care of everyone and everything before i get in some time for me. to take care of my body. my mind. my faith. my heart. even as i type this, i am thinking of dinner i need to make tonight and the laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, oh and the dog needs to be walked. yes, and i can pay those bills later too........ where is my health, wellbeing SELF fit into this? my face shows the beat down i have been giving my internal organs. food after food after lack of good exercise, good movement. i am planting a garden out back - h...

falling in love

"In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone. A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are toge...

winter is coming

"Girls love each other like animals. There is something ferocious and unself-conscious about it. We don't guard ourselves like we do with boys. No one trains us to shiel our heads from each other. With girls, it's total vulnerability from the beginning. Our skin bare and soft. We love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. It's feral. And it's relentless."  -Leah Raeder,  Black Iris  (via  quoted-books )