Skip to main content

april 10th 2017

here. i am starting new. i feel like i have said that so many times. and i have. i really have.... sigh. how is this time different from the rest?

i have always been strong, carefree, spontaneous, adventuresome, life-is-too-short-kinda-way girl. but something in the last year has turned my insides into a different place. i ignore my body, i ignore my inner self CRYING out. stop. stop. please just stop. i have put everyone else in front of myself. i have decided to take care of everyone and everything before i get in some time for me. to take care of my body. my mind. my faith. my heart. even as i type this, i am thinking of dinner i need to make tonight and the laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, oh and the dog needs to be walked. yes, and i can pay those bills later too........

where is my health, wellbeing SELF fit into this? my face shows the beat down i have been giving my internal organs. food after food after lack of good exercise, good movement. i am planting a garden out back - hoping being among the dirt and seeds and soil will bring be some clarity. its like i need to break myself apart to find where i have locked away my caring for my body. where did SHE GO GODDAMMIT? why have you let yourself slip so far away?

enough. I'm getting my shoes on. and stepping outside. this isn't going to be for anyone. but a place i have told myself i need to start coming to. put it on this page. lock it away. and then move on.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

born to explore!

    I have always craved adventure. And I always was striving for the next one. When you begin to work every day, all day and only have a couple days off a week, you begin to need adventure. I NEED AN ADVENTRUE. I need to feel the trees, blowing in the wind, their sweet sweet smell of pine and maple. I need to feel uneven ground, get a little dirty, and feel the demand of my body to move forward. I need to feel the air outside… oh what a concept. Outside. I sit in a cubicle, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I am blessed, like I say all the time... I have a big window. I’m blessed again, but I want more than to look outside while breathing inside air. I long to be out, in the warm, cold air. I guess when you are locked up for so long your body starts craving the outside.   So I decided to adventure, this Spring, Summer and Fall. I have a couple friends and my boyfriend who are in for the challenge. I’m going to push myself to backpack, hike, swim, climb, ca...
Post a Comment
Read more

happening

I have found a love, so deep and true. nothing, and I mean in life prepared me for such a beautiful blessing. I never thought this, he, was in existence - that he would ever be for me. I remember praying and looking but just thought, naw - can't work this good for me. But it did. He is here. and he isn't going anywhere. My sweet sweet God - my savior above, saw my broken heart - healed my bones and mended be back together. all the while crafting the sneakiest of adventures. and here he is, with me. brought to me by no one other than the God I live for. He, in the photo. my life, my love. until my body breathes its last breath, I will love him with every fiber within my soul - with everything I ever am. Through the storms and big open skies, he will be my companion, my best friend, my lover, my hope and my adventure. the greatest gift I could ever receive. I need nothing more. I am full. 
1 comment
Read more